Pokemon in a NutshellNuthouse
by Dobuki Hanulsarang
Summary: Ash goes back to Kanto for a vacation!  Little does he know that Misty, May, and Dawn also have plans there...All including him!  Ash X Misty X May X Dawn Rated M for language and sexual content.  I might put up a lemon if I get some support!  Review!
1. Chapter 1

**Pokemon in a Nutshell/Nut House**

**A/N: My Kingdom Hearts fic isn't doin' too well…So! I've decided to try my hand **

**at Pokemon! Please, please, **_**please**_** review. I don't care if you hate it!…Well, **

**actually I kinda do, but still review! So…Ash is 16, Misty is 18, May is 16, and **

**Dawn's 14. I'm not giving Brock an age, though. He doesn't need one.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon and never will! **TT **Although if I did, there **

**would be major changes…Heh.**

**Ch. 1**

Ah…Pallet Town. Sweet, calm, serene, mediocre Pallet Town. If you ever

played Red, Blue or Green Version, you'll know what I mean. But not FireRed or

LeafGreen. They screwed the place up big time. A place where many trainers start their

journey. At least if they live in Kanto. Those lucky little buggers are given a choice

between Bulbasaur, Squirtle, or the devilishly good-looking Charmander. Yes, even Ash

Ketchum began his journey here, but the troubled youth was too late too pick up a

Charmander or one of the others…Instead he got a yellow rodent with an attitude problem

that insisted upon frying the young boy's innards. However, upon defending the Pikachu

from a flock of seriously pissed-off Spearow, he earned its trust. But I'm getting ahead

of myself. Or behind, technically…Whatever. After returning from the Sinnoh Region

(no, he didn't beat the League, 'cause he never does) Ash decided to head back to Kanto

for a little vacation. Things never work out as they plan, now do they? Let's get to the

main storyline, shall we?

In the Ketchum household, a seriously fucked up looking mime was putting up

decorations. Yeah, I'm talking about Mimey, the Mr. Mime. Why was he decorating?

His master and secret lover, Deliah, had ordered him to do so. Women are extremely

manipulative, no? The poor Mr. Mime sighed as he put up more streamers. He really

didn't like that Ash kid? Why? His cheeks have some weird lightning pattern. Mimes

_hate_ lightning. Deliah opened the door. "Mimey, are you done yet?" she called.

"**Mime mime mime**! (get the hell off my back!!)" Mimey screamed. Of

course, being a human and all, Deliah had no freaking clue what the Mr. Mime was

saying.

"Okay, well keep at it!" she said and left the room. Mimey sighed in frustration.

Humans could be complete morons.

Ash was finally on Route 1, nearing the town of Pallet. It was kind of annoying,

though, because he kept running into extremely weak Pidgey and Rattata. He suddenly

noticed that Pikachu was missing. "Pikachu," he called. "Where are you?" Scooby then

popped up. Ash stared at him. Scooby Doo then bounded off muttering something about

snacks. Ash finally found his Pikachu raping a defenseless Rattata.

"Pikachu…" he muttered. "Not again…" Pikachu ignored him and kept going

until he was finished. _Geez, no wonder Rattata multiply so fast…_ The electrical rodent

thought. A sudden shriek was heard. Ash, Pikachu, and the used Rattata looked up too

see a Pidgeot….Ash's Pidgeot. The massive bird was leading a large flock of Pidgey and

Pidgeotto. The Pidgeot recognized Ash and fluttered down to greet him.

"**Pijo**! (Yo!) " it squawked joyously. Ash recognized it too.

"Hey, Pidgeot! Been a while huh?" he laughed.

" **Pij pijo**…(Nine seasons in fact…)" it sighed.

"So, you wanna join my team again?" Ash asked.

"**Pijo pij pij**! (Would I ever!)" it agreed. Unfortunately, Ash didn't speak

Pidgeot, or any other Pokemon in fact.

"Huh? You won't?" Ash questioned.

"**Pij** **pidgeot! Pijo**! (No, I will!)" it nearly shrieked.

"What? You wanna battle first?" said the perplexed Ash. Pidgeot sighed. Its

master hadn't changed at all.

_**A/N: **__**So…How was it? Review or I will eat your heart!!! See ya later**_


	2. Chapter 2

_****__**A/N**__**After much anticipation, the second chapter is finally here! For all of you Misty fans out there, rejoice! As for Dawn and May fans, sorry. You'll have to wait for the next chapters. Also, look forward to seeing Brock soon! Now…Onto the story!...Wait a sec…**_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon or any of its characters and never will! Stop reminding me! D **

**Pokemon in a Nutshell/Nuthouse**

**Chapter II:**

Enter the Waterflower!

….Ew. Cerulean. They obviously rushed through this place. I mean, come on. If you don't have HM01 Cut, then it takes FOREVER to get out of the Hell-hole. And it's way too blue. I think that Eiffel 65 might've been born here. Heh heh. Funny. But let's get back on track, shall we? Ahem…Behold, the grand Cerulean City, home of the Cerulean Gym! The ever-glamorous Misty and her sisters run the place. But screw the sisters, let's get right to Misty. No, seriously. Screw the sisters.

Misty was too busy drying her hair to notice Psyduck blancing a toaster on his head. Her Staryu was trying to flirt with her Goldeen who had just recently decided to become a lesbian. And Starmie? Who cares. Nobody likes Starmie. "I hate my hair…" Misty sighed distressfully. "It's all frizzy and orange. And frizzy." Her Psyduck threw the toaster at the wall in a fit of rage.

"_Psy-yi-yi!!! _(I hate electronics!)" it quacked. The noise startled Staryu.

"_Hiya-hi-hiya-ya!_(Dude! What's your problem, dude? You are so not gnarly. Unlike this Goldeen babe here.)" The starfish yelled. Yeah, Staryu was a wannabe-surfer. Goldeen sighed and dove down deep underwater.

"_Hi-hiya!_(Hey, babe!)" called out Staryu. "_Hiya!_(Wait up!)" Staryu then dove down after the goldfish. Starmie stopped cutting itself and turned to Psyduck.

"_Hurr huuuurrrrr._(I guess it's just you and me, huh?)" she said. Psyduck immediately stopped beating up the toaster and stared at the Starmie.

"_Psy-yi psyduck psy._(I just remembered, I've gotta…um…drown.)" he managed to say before jumping into the pool. The Starmie looked away sadly and resumed hacking away at itself.

Mist kept messing around with her hair and didn't notice the smashed toaster right by her feet. "These gym matches are so stupid. It's always someone with a ridiculously high-level starter and a whole bunch of low-level and untrained Pokemon. And they always end up winning, too," she muttered. She had been having a bad week. Let's get back to our hero, shall we?

Ash stood over his old Pidgeot, now burned to a crisp. "Poke'Ball, go!" he shrieked in an annoying tone as he mercilessly chucked the red and gray orb at the wounded bird. A bright red light enveloped the Pidgeot and it was sucked into the Poke'Ball.

"Way to go, Pikachu!" Ash cheered. "Now come on out, Pidgeot!" He tossed the Poke'Ball up into the air and the large bird tumbled out. "_Pij pijo! Pidgeot?! Pijo pij?!_ (What the hell was that?! What the hell, man?! What the hell?!)" it shrieked. Ash laughed in response.

"I know, it's great to have you back too, buddy!" Ash chuckled. Pikachu sighed and ran behind a tree, waiting to ambush another female Rattata.

_**A/N: Well, another chapter is down! Don't wory, Misty and Ash will cross paths soon. I just want to introduce the other characters before I start to get all romantic. Sorry it took so long…My computer broke down, so I had to buy a new one…But anyways…Review if you want more! I get easily discouraged, but I'll stay motivated as long as I know people want to read it! Keep in touch!**_

_**-Dobuki Hanulsarang**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: I've been wanting to do this chapter for a while…The shiny chapter! Unfortunately after this, I'm not too sure on how to introduce Dawn…So, if you have any good ideas, feel free to send me a message. You could also just put it in a review if its more convenient, but I'd prefer you PM me. Anyways, without further ado…Dammit.**_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon. However, I do own a Pokemon T-Shirt.**

**Pokemon in a Nutshell/Nuthouse**

The town of Pewter city. Not too fancy, but not too extravagant. The home of everyone's favorite perv. No, not Michael Jackson! I'm talking about the mysterious, mystifying, almost eyeless Brock! Brock ran into his room and locked his door. "Heh heh…" he snickered as he reached for his lotion and porn stash. Right when he was about to unzip his pants, a loud knock was heard on the door.

"Brock!" a twerpy voice yelled.

"What the hell is it, Forrest?!" the upset pervert screamed, still trying to focus on his porn stash.

"Your not supposed to be in this chapter." Forrest replied.

Psyduck glanced around nervously, making sure Starmie wasn't stalking him. "_Psy-yi-yi__…_(Thank God…)" it sighed when it saw that the purple starfish was nowhere in sight.

"_Hiya-hiya?_ (Why are you scared of her, dude?)" Staryu asked the yellow duck.

"_Psy-yi, psyduck. Psy-yi-yi-duck._ (I'm not. She just freaks me the fuck out.)" it said, shaking its yellow little head. It then started sexually abusing the unconscious toaster.

"It's great to have you back, Pidgeot!" Ash told the bird. The Pidgeot was still mad at him, so it didn't respond. Ash cocked his head sideways in confusion, but his eyes lit up as he came up with a stupid explanation.

"Oh, I get it! You've been getting it on with a whole bunch of bird Pokemon, haven't you? That's why you're soo tired!" he explained to himself. The sad thing was that he was almost right. Pidgeot had been getting lucky. And air sex could be a little rough, so he was usually tired. But he was mostly just pissed with getting shocked. All of the sudden, May popped up behind Pidgeot.

"Hey there, Ash!" she said happily. Ash jumped three feet into the air screaming profane things that didn't make sense. He gets scared easily.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I startle you?" she giggled.

"FUCK YES, YOU DID!!!" Ash shouted. Meanwhile, Pidgeot was talking with Pikachu.

"_Pijo pij pijo_? (Who's that hottie?)" Pidgeot asked.

"_Pika pikacu, pi-ka._(That would be May, Ash's old traveling companion.)" the mouse replied. Pidgeot stared at the girl's chest for a while before chirping,

"_Pidgeot, pijo._ (I'd hit that.)" Pikachu stared at him in disbelief.

"_Pikachu pika!_ (So there are others!)" it exclaimed. A rustle of grass was then heard. Ash stopped his tantrum long enough to turn and see a Caterpie. But not just a regular Caterpie. It was a golden color. Ash looked at it and checked it up on his Poke-Dex.

_Caterpie, the-Wait, what the fuck?! How stupid are you? This is the first damn Pokemon that you ever caught!! Sheesh! _

"Thanks, Poke'dex thing," Ash said, closing the electronical encyclopedia. "I'm gonna catch him!" May had never owned a shiny, so naturally, she wanted in.

"Oh no, you don't! I want to catch it!" she said, grabbing Ash's shoulder.

"I don't even know how the hell you got here!!" Ash screamed. "The bug's mine!"

The Caterpie couldn't help but feel special. He had been kicked out of his group because he was gold instead of green, and here were two people he didn't even know that were fighting over him. His moment of happiness was interrupted, however.

"Pikachu, use Thundershock!!" Ash yelled. The mouse shocked the poor caterpillar nearly to death.

"Blaziken, use Flamethrower!" May said, sending out her Blaziken.

"_Blaziken_! (I'm Rick James, bitch!)" the Blaziken bellowed, burning the bug alive. This process continued for several minutes. Both the trainers stopped, staring at the near-lifeless Caterpie.

"What have we done?" May asked, tears welling up in her eyes.

"I'm…a monster…" Ash said in disbelief. Pikachu and Blaziken were laughing their asses off at the poor Caterpie.

"What were we thinking?" Ash continued. "Just because this Caterpie is shiny, it doesn't mean it's more special then a regular one. We should let it leave in peace." Ash sprayed the Caterpie with a Full Restore and watched it miraculously regain composure.

"You're right, Ash. Bye, Caterpie!" May said, drying her eyes. Both friends watched the Caterpie begin to crawl off with satisfied looks on their faces. Then a Fearow swooped down on the bug, killing it instantly.

_**A/N: Wow…One of my longer chapters…Don't worry, I'll explain about May in the next chapter. Anyways, peoples…You know the drill…Review or I'll see to it that you can never have children!!! Love you all!**_

_**-Dobuki Hanulsarang**_


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